“If This Hour Be My Last…”
Star-Ananda
The room is scented with bunches of lavender plants. The lights from the soft burning candles surround the room. There on the coffee table stands the little Christmas tree with its’ tiny clear lights that I love so much. It may not be Christmas but that’s okay, the tree brings to me a sense of peace. My children Herbie, Reggie, and Kristin, as well as my granddaughter LeiLa, are sitting around me on the bed. I am wearing my favorite red satin pajamas! I am covered in my comforter and the gray and white leopard print blanket given to me by my granddaughter. The hospice nurse has a kind face as she stands by to monitor my morphine drip IV in case I experience any pain. Playing softly in the background are Ave Maria, Hallelujah, and other favorite songs of mine along that nature. I say to my children: “I am very proud of all three of you and you too granddaughter. Thank you all for choosing me as a Mother and spending this lifetime with me. You have brought me so much love and joy that my cup of love runneth over! Continue as you are; beautiful spirits, kind, happy, and good citizens of the world. I love you more than you can ever know. Remember all that I have taught you about life, about death and everything in between. Know that I will be okay and I will never be too far away. Kristin, you are familiar with the “American Book of the Dead.” I would like for you to read to me Reading #4 “Confronting the Clear Light.” Also know that my dear and wonderful friend R.M. will be reading for me as well. Now let us talk about good memories that we have created together.”
At this point I would like to hear from each of my children regarding their favorite memory and of anything else they want to say to me. Slowly, I feel my body begin to shut down one system at a time. I have heard that hearing is the last system to go. Therefore, I listen to the voices of my children and granddaughter as they recite or recall memories and stories. Their voices are like soothing melodies of a song not yet written. Now, other family members and friends may come in to say good bye and to be pillars of strength for my children and for each other. I would like for my children to continue sitting on the bed holding my hands. The body systems continue to shut down. It seems to be happening faster! With eyes wide open, I can see light in the distance beyond this organic world. I see Momma standing there waiting. I see my grandmothers and great grandmothers as well as Geran and other loved ones that have passed on. I tell my children that I am going to be okay…everyone on the other side are waiting for me.
Finally, my body shuts down completely and the machine beeps its’ last. Only the straight line reaching into eternity, remains. Before I totally succumb to what lies ahead, I become a cloud of intense energy and I cover my loved ones with this radiating energy conveying to them that I am in fact, okay. Now, I am being guided by my Mother who is moving me towards the Clear Light into the heart of the Beloved. I remember the teachings of the American Book of the Dead by E.J. Gold. So, I go forth joyfully and merge with the Clear Light. I understand that this is my “True Nature.”
Gladly, I take Liberation.